Thursday, April 26, 2012

Thoughtful Thursday...I'M BACK!!!!

Okay, here it goes...it's going to be negative for a little bit so I can get to the positive.

I AM A FAILURE!  A complete and utter failure.  All the progress I've made the past year is gone! 

I FINALLY went to a WW meeting today, got on the scale and needless to say it was not good!  I am up 13 lbs from my last weigh in on February 9th of this year!  That means that I am back to where I was when I started this blog last year...245.6 lbs!

Who's to blame?  I AM!!  I did this to myself through a series of bad choices and excuses. 

Where did it all go wrong?  Well, I have to say that it all went wrong when I stopped attending weekly WW meetings.  I never realized how much they help me.  While it's not for everyone I have found that I need them.  I also stopped going to the gym.  Mostly because my trainer got a different job, but another reason is because I felt so self conscious when I went there.  Then a series of unfortunate incidents that I won't drudge up all the details on here got in my way.

What made me go back?  I ran into my WW leader this past Saturday and of course she shopping in the fitness clothing part of the store.  She said she wouldn't be at the meeting this Saturday because she's participating in a 1/2 marathon.  I told her I'd see her the next Saturday then.  We all get used to a routine and I was used to having her as my leader.  She told me I didn't have to wait on her to come back.  And luck of all lucks I didn't have to go anywhere or do anything after work today and was able to go to her Thursday meeting.  I have to say I'm glad I went because it really focused on a lot of things that we all need to work through (another post for tomorrow). 

What's keeping me from totally giving in and throwing in the towel?  I KNOW I CAN DO THIS!  I've proved that it can be done by taking off the 13 lbs before and I know I can do it again plus more. 

Why do I post it all for the whole world to see?  Because there are so many people just like me out there that are struggling just as much if not more than I am.  I think that maybe something I am going through or something that I write will help someone out there. 

So, what's next?  Start over...don't give up...keep on truckin'!  I can't keep being negative and look at is as a failure anymore.  I have to look at it as a minor setback and just try as hard as I can to not let it happen again and if it does not be so hard on myself.  This never was meant to be a quick fix, there are no quick fixes.  I need to dig further into why I've put all this weight back on.

In conclusion, if anyone is even reading this, I have got to get back to making myself a priority and making my health a priority. 
~Crystal

1 comment:

Elizabeth said...

Just getting back to my computer...next year we are doing a mini together!
Elizabeth